Introduction + FAQ of Mod Venus

** I have no idea what happened with the formatting. I'm kind of screaming at blogger right now because this is a nightmare **

So. I'm bad at writing introductions, which is kind of ironic since I never shut up about myself.

I'm Roman, or Mod Venus. I use it/its pronouns, if you can't use those the name only please. I'm a stellunarian agenderfluid lesbian who's heavily mentally ill, autistic, traumatized, and fat. I'm also white and lower middle class, for accountability stuff.

I'm heavily interested in anti fascism and feminism. I also love researching lesbian history, and I hope to be able to write on it in the future. Outside of politics, I'm into the paranormal and fashion! I'm an aspiring fashion designer, and I hope to go to school for fashion design in the next year or so.

Like Mod Ari, I'm also an Hellenic polytheist. I consider myself a revivalist, and I also have a particular focus on Aphrodite. I also work with Artemis, Hekate, Nyx, and Amphitrite. As a witch of 5+ years, I also work a lot on magical theory. Which sounds like a weird focus for a witch, but trust me it's super interesting. At least to me.

I'll sign all my posts with Mod Venus for now.

Anyway, onto my FAQ.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Why do you say so many hateful things about cishets/men/Christians/insert oppressive group here?

Why do you care more about my 'hateful' words rather than the hateful words of those groups? One annoyed lesbian isn't gonna hurt thousands of cishet people. 
Seriously. I can whine and yell all I want but clearly it's not saving the thousands of LGBT people hurt by homophobia and transphobia. Me not liking men isn't harming them so badly that they're dropping dead. Christianity isn't suddenly the most hated religion in the west because I rolled my eyes at someone saying Jesus loves me.
I don't care about the hurt feelings of people oppressing me.

If you don't think oppression is real, I really don't have the time to convince you it is.

The internet convinced you all of this! It's not true!

Surprisingly enough, feminism, anti fascism, LGBT people, etc have all existed long before the internet did. The internet just made the exchange of ideas faster. I can observe injustice happening without the internet telling me. 
Also, while the internet certainly taught me a lot of things, I was picking fights with men long before I called myself a feminist. It's just my libra lifeblood that makes me upset at injustice.

Non Christians/The Gays/insert group here is oppressing Christians!

In America? The west? No, no they aren't. I was raised in a conservative Christian family. We were always taught that it's anti Christian to well... not be Christian. My teachers teaching us about Jewish practices? anti Christian. Muslim women going through the drive through at McDonald's? anti Christian. Enjoying the paranormal and taking interest in science? anti Christian.

I grew up terrified of not believing in god to the extent that I would make up shit in church just to seem more Christian and thus more pure. I never felt the love of god or Jesus, I never felt that warmth.

Christians aren't oppressed by anyone. Take a look at current legislation and politics. Y'all are running everything in a country that's supposed to have a separation of church and state!

You're such a misandrist!

Yeah? And?

Just kidding misandry is fake but if it was real yeah I'd be misandrist #1

You're why no one takes feminists seriously!

... no that's misogyny but sure convince yourself it's because I'm too mean.

Do you seriously believe in Greek mythology??????? You're delusional!

Yeah, and I also believe in the fae, ghosts, astral plane, reincarnation, otherkin, fictionkin... the list goes on and on. I believe in a lot of weird shit. I read tarot constantly and believe strongly in astrology.

Yet I also am a huge science geek. I test my beliefs. I don't take every myth literally, I don't hold my beliefs past when I should. I believe in evolution, I know the Earth revolves around the Sun. Part of my practice is literally to respect science and it's existence. I try to research as much as I can and consider the logic of my own practices because, well, why wouldn't I?

Also yeah. I'm delusional. That's why psychosis means.

How do you even know you're a lesbian?

Well. I like women. I like kissing women. Women I find attractive make me weak in my knees. I want to have sex with women and I want to marry a woman.

The idea of doing any of that with a man makes me wanna vomit.

How do you tell the difference between being non-aligned agender and being woman-aligned agender?

Well, there's not really an easy way to tell the difference as gender is a mess. For me, I just looked at where my experiences in my life lined up. While I don't feel like I /am/ a woman, my experiences are /similar/ to women's. 

For example, listening to lesbians struggles really resonate with me. I can relate and understand those thoughts. When women talk about being impacted by misogyny, I feel the same things they do in those situations. While I may not see myself as a woman, I see myself as similar to them.

Can I call you queer?

No.

Dyke?

Are you a lesbian? Have we talked more than once? Go ahead if yes to both!

Are you femme or butch?

If by this you just mean 'are you feminine or masculine' the answer is no.

If you mean do I identify as either of these sapphic gender experiences, then I consider myself femme. I love ultra feminine clothes, but my relationship to femininity is complicated. I identified as butch for a long time due to feeling uncomfortable being seen as a cis woman.

I have a lot of social dysphoria over being seen like cishet women. My expression of femininity cannot be untied from my lesbianism and my agenderness. Because of this, I tend to avoid calling myself feminine outside of discussing femme and butch.

What mental disorders do you have?

Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, minor psychosis

Self-DX: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, unknown trauma disorder, arachnophobia

Completely unsure: Dissociative Identity Disorder/unknown dissociative disorder

I have extreme anxiety and minor psychosis related to it. I tend to assume I'm in life threatening danger a lot and that people are trying to kill me.

I have basically no empathy, am extremely self centered, almost no emotions, but when I do have emotions they are extremely intense, violent tendencies, and hyperromanticism/hypersexuality

I have no fucking idea why but I have two people in my head. Bill, who's literally just Bill Cipher, and Juliette, who's been around for a while. They don't talk much, but are there.

- Mod Venus