What Is Pretty?

TW: food, eating disorders, body shape, beauty, body talk, mentions of dysphoria

I'm not sure why I've suddenly been brave enough to say this. I'm not sure what changed when I looked in the mirror. Maybe it was avoiding the mirror so much that when I finally look at it, I look. Maybe it was being tired of evaluating myself by someone else's standards. Perhaps it was looking at the amazing diversity of humankind and deciding I wasn't half bad.

Maybe it was all of those. Maybe it was none of those.

Does it matter what it finally was? Does it matter why I've finally chosen to say this, not just say it, but immortalize it on the internet? Not really.

I'm pretty.

No, I'm more than that. I'm gorgeous. I'm not even going to go into details on what I look like, because it doesn't matter. I might be that photo shopped model in the magazines or I could be the opposite of the standards.

I could be tall and skinny, or I could be fat and short. I could have long waves of brown curly hair that are naturally airbrushed, or I could have shaved my head. I might be you. I might look exactly like you. You might think that I'm gorgeous or you might think I'm ugly as hell. I could be any race. I could be average in any way. I could be covered in "cute" freckles or "ugly" pimples and zits.

And you know what? Imagine me how you want to see me. Imagine me as someone you feel is at your same level as attractiveness as you are. Then I'll smile and tell you that we're both beautiful. I could be walking or I could be in a wheelchair, but I'd still be pretty either way.

If there's only one beautiful, then why aren't we all that person? The most beautiful person in the world is you. The most beautiful person in the world is whoever you want them to be, and for me, that person is you.

Even if you are struggling with dysphoria, whatever you will look like when you present the way you want to, you will be beautiful.

Even if you aren't white, you are beautiful. Asian people are beautiful, black people are beautiful, indigenous people are beautiful, Hispanic or Latino people are beautiful, biracial people are beautiful, and if I didn't mention your race, know that it's beautiful too.

I am beautiful. You are beautiful. He is beautiful. She is beautiful. Ze is beautiful. We are beautiful. Don't you think it's a wonder that a species could have developed such huge variations from person to person? Wouldn't the world be boring if all we saw was white, blond, skinny, able, cishet girls and muscular, white, tough, able, cishet men?

I know I'd get bored pretty quickly.

So you. Yes, you -- I don't care what kind of body you have -- and look into the mirror if you have one. The person looking at you is beautiful. If you don't like mirrors because you have dysphoria, do something nice for yourself instead. What makes you feel good?

Do it.

I love your body. Don't be afraid to change it if you want to transition and don't be afraid to do what you want to do.

Why I Haven't Been Posting Lately

As you may have noticed, I haven't posted in a really long time.

The reason is that, between getting ready for college (I start classes on August 31, with a major in mental health and social work), looking for work (I've applied for a few dozen jobs already and had about three interviews, not counting the one coming up this Thursday), preparing to transition, working on a knitting project that I'll tell you about later, and enjoying my last summer before I actually have to be an adult, I've been too busy.

So I just took an unofficial hiatus. Now I'm taking an official one. I'll still be running things, but from behind the scenes, and of course the other mods will still be posting. I'll hire new mods (we're still hiring by the way!!), critiquing posts when I need to, helping pick out a new blog title, and maybe updating the blog pages occasionally. But I won't be posting for awhile, maybe until my first semester of college is over.

I hope to be back soon, but for now it's  (mostly) good-bye.