Thursday, February 25, 2016

Articles For 2016 Black History Month

TW: discussion of racism, homophobia, violence, classism, and misogynoir; usage of the Q-slur

Okay, I obviously haven't done much for this Black History Month. Part of the reason for that is that I'm white and wanted to stay in my lane. Another reason is that Cosima is the only black mod we have and I figured she'd want to be doing most of it, but she's probably really stressed out from college and might be low on spoons right now. So I'm just going to list a bunch of feminist articles and editorials I found on Autostraddle, written by and about black people.

50+ LGBTQ Black Women You Need To Know Because We Are Awesome

Sh*t People Say About Natural Hair, Mine And Others'

Being Lesbian While Black & How Five African Women Saved My Life

It's Time For White Feminists To Stop Talking About Solidarity And Start Acting

Adventures In Baby Making As A Single Black Lesbian

The Radtastic Black Lesbians Who Changed LGBT History And Our Lives

Ending Violence Against Queer Black Women Is Everybody's Responsibility

Sunday, February 21, 2016

#TrueStories - A New Movement?

There seems to be a movement for diversity in pop culture. It's called #TrueStories, and it allegedly started on Twitter, then got its own Tumblr blog. Now there's an app for it - just go to the PapTap market store, then search 'True Stories'. How it works is, you submit an anecdote or poetry from your own life that has to do with your marginalization and that you think would make a good idea for a TV show, comic, book, or movie, then writers are supposed to find it and use it. The #TrueStories - as in #TrueNativeStories, #TrueDisabledStories, or #TrueGayStories - hashtag has only been popping up on social media in the past few days as far as I'm aware, so I assume it's fairly new. It seems like a good idea, and a good way to put marginalized people at the center of our own stories and empower us.

 So far, I've submitted two anecdotes from my own life - the story of how I managed to convince the world I was straight as a sophomore, and the story of how I realized I was arospec - as well as my poem "Selfish Love". There's some really good stuff on there, like this really ethereal poem by a woman named Talia about being sapphic, or the story of two lesbians who fell in love over the course of several decades and finally got married when they were elderly women. There's also a list of rules for representing minorities respectfully.

At the moment, it's mainly LGBT focused, but there's also been things about disability, race, religion, and body image on the #TrueStories Twitter account (which is under @FalconsWrite for some reason - why the creator likes birds so much, I have no idea) and the feminism behind it seems nicely intersectional. I'm interested to see where this goes and whether it takes off, and if everyone could promote it that would be awesome.

Aro/Ace Separationism?

Apparently, there's a movement in the aromantic and asexual communities to separate ourselves from the LGBT+ community. I figure it's time I addressed that.

Since I'm allosexual, I'll be speaking primarily about aros in this post. Just to make that clear.

The name for our community would be A+, according to an aroace I've asked about this. I like that - or maybe A-spectrum, which sounds more official. But that sounds too much like "ace spectrum", which doesn't include allosexual aros.

How about A-squared? In Sarah Mlynowski's Magic In Manhattan (I had a thing for cute teenage witches in pop culture when I was in middle school), that's what Rachel calls her sister Miri's spell book. And, come on, who doesn't want to be named after an awesome magical spell book?

But that doesn't sound really official either...especially when we have to explain to people that we got the name from an urban fantasy series for thirteen-year-olds. And we might have to deal with copyright and trademark laws for naming ourselves after something that was created and published by someone else, but I doubt Mlynowski would really care. When we get involved in community visibility and activism, we need to bring our A-game.

Hey...

Anyway, I've been told that as a gay nonbinary aro, I would be considered a member of both the LGBT+ and aro/ace spectrum communities. Aroaces who aren't SGA, multisexual, transgender, nonbinary, or intersex would be only in the A community, as would heteroromantic aces and heterosexual aros.

On the one hand, I'm glad that a deal has been brokered and aro/ace people might be respected as a valid community in our own right.

On the other, I'm a nonbinary, aro, gay, and bisexual (I fit the definitions of both gayness and bisexuality because I'm attracted to multiple genders, but all the genders I'm attracted to are the same as or similar to my own). And a lot of the time, I've felt like I have to choose. There are other aros acting like 'gay' and 'aro' are mutually exclusive, other gay people slut-shaming and speaking over bisexual women, other bisexuals using cissexist definitions for their sexuality, and on top of that I feel like I'm invalidating my own gender by identifying as sapphic, an identity exclusive to women. If the arospec community were to formally separate from the LGBT+ community, how would that impact me and other trans, gay, and BPQ+ aros who share my experiences? How about trans, gay, and BPQ+ aces? Nonbinary and gender variant aro/ace people who don't identify as transgender?

It also bothers me that so many alloromantic allosexual LGBT people consider hetaros and hetaces straight and that this is part of the reason for the separatist movement. If you're allosexual, you don't get to call hetaces straight unless they identify that way. If you're alloromantic, you don't get to call hetaros straight unless they identify that way. Period. My grayromanticism is not a 'neutral' trait, and it's sure as hell not the same as being heteroromantic. That doesn't change for a heterosexual aro.

But at least this is a compromise. We're not straight, we're not heteronormative...but being aro or ace isn't the same as being LGBTQI either. And while I identify as queer, I don't consider my grayromanticism queer. I consider it aro, or gray anyway. My sexuality is queer. My gender fluidity is queer. Hell, even my androgyny is queer, but only because it's performed by me and is heavily informed by my gender. But my grayromanticism is not queer.

All in all, I at least want to give this separatist thing a try. Any thoughts?

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

My Discovery of Aromanticism

CW: description of romantic attraction, mentions of homophobia and internalized amatonormativity

On Tumblr today, a prompt showed up for Aro Week: write about your discovery of aromanticism.

The first time I ever heard the word aromantic, I had never heard of romantic orientation. I was sixteen years old and closeted, and after having had homophobes repeatedly tell me that same-gender attraction was only about lust, greed, and selfishness, I, like many other SGA people, was emotionally fucked-up and fiercely defensive about my ability to love.

And that is an ability I have. I love incredibly strongly. Just not romantically. But the form of love that was valued in my culture, above all others, was romance. And while straight people, not SGA people, are responsible for the existence of amatonormativity, SGA people often replicate it in our own communities.

When I first began getting involved in the LGBT community as a closeted, sixteen-year-old bisexual who called herself - I didn't realize at that point that I was a they - a straight ally in front of her family in order to avoid suspicion, I began learning about asexuality (a friend of mine had come out to me as gray-ace a few months earlier, actually, but I hadn't really understood at the time what that meant) and encountered asexuals who also called themselves aromantic. This, I assumed, meant they didn't fall in love with anyone. I also assumed, or at least wanted to believe*, that this was an identity that only asexuals had. And I wasn't asexual.

Then there came junior year. And junior year, oh lord. I got my second crush ever, not counting the puppy-love thing I had for a girl in my first grade class. It was terrifying. And the fact that my feelings for her - my very ability to feel romantic attraction - kept switching on and off, between platonic and romantic, probably made it worse. I'd never been more freaked out by anything in my life. What was this thing, what were these new feelings? Why did I sometimes get butterflies when I talked to her? Why did I think about her all the time, or want to hold her hand and kiss her, or feel immense happiness bubbling up inside me every time I saw her? Was this was all those romance novels were talking about? Did I have a crush - and on a girl who would never be able to feel the same way, at that? If so, why did this feel so...different? Why did it make me so uncomfortable?

At seventeen years old, why was I only feeling like this now? That clearly wasn't normal. It was kind of like how my gray-ace friend described her sexuality, except with romance. Was that a thing? Could you be aro, or grayro anyway, and not ace?

Apparently, yes.

During February of that year, a new social networking site started up. It was LGBTQIA only, which delighted me because I'd had bad experiences before with shitty dycishet allies who thought they knew more about my community than I did and I just wanted LGBTQIA people to have something to ourselves. It's called Skittlr, and much to my frustration it's been having some technical difficulties lately. But when it's working, it's actually pretty great.

On Skittlr, you can start up your own group. So...Lesbians Under 18, for example, or Multisexual Women, or Gay People of Color, or Transmasculine Club, or fan groups (Undertale is a popular fandom on there) or religious groups or political groups. One such group was for aromantic-spectrum, or arospec, people. Having heard the term aromantic before, and having friends who identified with it, I decided to Google it and find out what it really meant to be aromantic.

This was among the first results of that Google search. Little or no romantic attraction to others...it sounded close, but not perfect. The FAQ said you could be aro and not ace. I looked near the bottom of the page. Gray-romantic...I wonder what that is. So I clicked on the link.

And what I found brought tears to my eyes. Experiencing romantic attraction, but not very often...desiring relationships that weren't quite platonic or romantic...there was a word for me. I wasn't a freak, or a slut, or a bad stereotype of sapphic women.

So I joined the arospec group and listened to people talk about their experiences, then listened to my aro friends talk about theirs in real life. So much of it resonated with me. Grayromantic. It felt like coming home.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

LGBTQ YA Book Recommendations

I Am J by Cris Beam - This is a story about an eighteen-year-old boy, J Silver, as he comes out to his family and friends, falls in love, runs away from home, starts his transition, and begins to find a chosen family among other trans people. It was written by a cis author - who seems to be GNC and some variety of multisexual - but she's clearly done her research.

Representation: The main character is a straight, biracial trans man with a Puerto Rican mother and non-practicing European Jewish father (I know there's debate in the Jewish community on whether or not European Jewish people are white and I'm goy so I shouldn't get involved). He's light-skinned, but not white-passing. His best friend for the first half of the book is a cishet biracial girl, Melissa, with a black mother (who is pagan, though this isn't a big factor in the story) and white father. In the second half, he makes friends with a straight black trans woman named Chanelle, who is in her early twenties, and a white trans man, about twenty-three or twenty-four, whose sexuality is left ambiguous (for some reason, I'm pretty sure he's bi) named Zak. There's also a Latina trans woman, Marcia, who acts as a sort of mentor to J when he first runs away.

Perfect by Ellen Hopkins - Ordinarily, I'm not a big fan of Ellen Hopkins. Her only LGBTQ representation consists only of cis white characters, there's very little disability representation, and her book Tricks is wh*rephobic. There's also a lot of slut-shaming in pretty much everything, even from the protagonists. But this was pretty decent, actually. It's a novel in verse about three teenagers who face parental pressure to be perfect, and how they handle that pressure. Cara's parents are wealthy and successful, and her mother is positively anal about making sure that Cara and her twin brother, Connor, are just as flawless as she is. Cara fulfilled those expectations, but ended up socially stunted; Connor rebelled, fell in love with a teacher who took advantage of him, and attempted suicide; Andre is the son of a plastic surgeon and a lawyer who are determined for him to be just as successful and upwardly mobile as they are, but he just wants to be a dancer; Kendra is a perfectionist, body-conscious teenage beauty queen with a rebellious little sister, Jenna (who is, for most of the book, Andre's girlfriend), and feels obligated to not disappoint her parents the way Jenna has.

Representation: Cara, 17, is cis, white, and abled, but quickly discovers that she's a lesbian (this isn't really a spoiler; she makes it pretty clear in the first few pages that she was attracted to her female teacher) so there's that. Also, Cara's girlfriend, Dani, obviously. Dani, who is probably about 19, is also a lesbian. She's also androgynous and could be seen as GNC. Andre, 17, is black and Latino (his paternal grandmother is Belizean), and seems to be abled, straight, and cis. His girlfriend, Jenna, 15, is an addict but is straight, cis, and white. There's a minor black girl character, Shantell, who is friends with Cara. Both Kendra and Cara are rape survivors, and Kendra has an eating disorder.

Freak Show by James St. James - I've reviewed this book before, actually. Just click the link.

Representation: Billy, the main character, is seventeen and a GNC gay boy who may or may not be nonbinary (he doesn't like labels). He's white and abled. Flip is cis, white, gender-conforming, and abled, and is either gay or bisexual. Everyone else is apparently straight, white, abled, and cis. Except this one guy in their science class, but he's a terrible person so we don't talk about him.


Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green - Say what you will about John Green, but he has some quality books. This is the story of two teenage boys who are both named Will Grayson and what happens after they meet.

Representation: One of the Will Graysons is gay and mentally ill. His boyfriend, Tiny, is androgynous, gay, and fat. Besides that, nothing really.

Every Day and Another Day by David Levithan - These two books are the same story, told from the point of view of two different characters. A's spirit is transferred into the body of a new person each day, always the same age as them. One day, they end up in the body of a sixteen-year-old boy named Justin and fall in love with his girlfriend, Rhiannon. After A leaves Justin's body, they try to stay as close to Rhiannon as possible, end up telling her their secret, and the rest of the story is basically just A and Rhiannon struggling to stay together when A is in the body of a new person - sometimes a girl, which is hard for her because she's straight - every time they see her.

Representation: A says that they only think of themselves as a "boy or girl for a day". Sometimes their mind doesn't match up with the body they're in and this results in gender dysphoria. They've dated boys and girls before, and don't seem to care about gender at all. Many readers, including me, believe that A is genderfluid and bi. Throughout the book, A takes over the bodies of several marginalized characters: a lesbian with a girlfriend, a Hispanic gay boy, a nonbinary trans boy, a working-class Latina girl, and a black girl.

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray - I've never actually read this book, but it sounds incredible. It's a modern, gender-switched, feminist retelling of Lord of the Flies, where the characters are teenage beauty queens instead of British schoolboys.

Representation: According to TV Tropes, one character is an abuse survivor who probably has PTSD. Out of the twelve girls who survive the plane crash that strands them on the island, there's also a canon trans girl, a butch lesbian, a bi girl, a Jewish girl, and two girls of color - Nicole is black and Shanti is Indian - who fight over who gets to be the token PoC because Libba Bray is lowkey calling out the lack of representation for black and brown girls in YA and they all know it's weird that there's more than one. I've been told that the feminism in this book is pretty intersectional, as well.

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin - This is the story of Riley, a closeted genderfluid sixteen-year-old whose father is a senator running for reelection. After Riley has a nervous breakdown and attempts suicide following their assault at their old private Catholic school, they transfer to a public high school, start an anonymous blog about what it's like to be a genderfluid teenager, and set out to dress as androgynously as possible so no one can tell their assigned sex and they won't stand out as much. This plan quickly backfires and they're bullied by cis classmates who are creepily obsessed with their genitalia, but manage to befriend Bec and Solo, who are apparently two of the only people at this school who are actually nice. Then someone finds out who "Alix", Riley's online alias, actually is and outs them, putting Riley in danger and potentially costing their father his reelection. This forces Riley to come out to their parents, and when they initially don't take it well, they run away from home and are assaulted again, this time by the football team of their public high school. When Riley is hospitalized, Bec doesn't show up to see them and they assume that she's ashamed of them, but really she just blames herself for what happened and feels too guilty to face Riley. After Bec and Riley talk this out, they kiss. Eventually everything works out and there's a happy ending.

Representation: Riley is white, rich, and able-bodied, but is also genderfluid, bisexual, and mentally ill. Bec is probably bisexual and gender nonconforming, but also white, cis, and abled. Solo is fat, Samoan, and possibly poor, but is also cishet. In Riley's LGBT support group, the leader is a trans woman named Michelle. There's also another trans woman named Bennie, a trans man named Chris, and a genderqueer person named Morgan. While she's never actually featured as a character, Bec's sister Gabi had been a trans girl.


Also, Marina Watanabe has a video in which she reviews comics and graphic novels with feminist aspects, several of which have LGBTQIA characters.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

More Love Songs That Aren't About Romance

Okay, nerds. *cracks knuckles* Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and after that it's the start of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (hereafter referred to as Aro Week). And that means we need to celebrate. So I found some more nonromantic love songs for all the aros who are already sick of amatonormativity before Valentine's Day is even officially here.

Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror (community love) (graphic depiction of starvation, death, and homelessness)

Mary Lambert - Body Love (body love/self love) (mentions of self-harm and suicidal ideation)

Fun - Carry On (friendship) (mentions of alcohol)

Beyonce - Formation (self love, friendship, and community love) (mentions of murder and police brutality)

Idina Menzel/Queen Elsa of Arendelle - Let It Go (self love)

Bob Marley - One Love (general)

Shrek The Musical - Freak Flag (self love)

Sister Sledge - We Are Family (friendship, familial love, and community love)

Kari Kimmel - Where You Belong (familial love)


Attention, All Teen Girls and Young Women Just Realizing You're Sapphic

CW: difemiphobic slurs, all caps
  • The term 'sapphic' refers to a poet named Sappho who was bisexual and is considered an icon for women who love women
    • She ran a school on a Greek island called Lesbos
      • This is where the word lesbian comes from
    • Because she once wrote a love poem describing how she gave her lover a garland of violets, there's a tradition among sapphic women of doing the same thing with our own female partners
    • The word 'sapphobia' also comes from Sappho's name and refers to the hybrid of biphobia and misogyny that only multisexual women experience
      • It was not, in fact, coined to demonize or piss off lesbians
        • Sometimes bi women do shit for ourselves. And not you. Get over it.
        • The word sapphobia does not refer to shared oppression among all sapphic women
          • That would be difemiphobia or difemphobia (lesbophobia is specific to lesbians)
          • SAPPHOBIA! IS! SPECIFIC! TO! MULTISEXUAL! WOMEN! AND! ONLY! MULTISEXUAL! WOMEN!
  • You're not any less of a woman, even if you have a penis
  • But if you're nonbinary*, being sapphic doesn't invalidate that
  • Yes, having blanket policies of not having sex with and/or dating trans women or girls is transphobic and transmisogynistic
    • But at the same time, you don't owe anyone sex or romance
  • You're not predatory
  • If the only men you think are hot are celebrities and fictional characters, you're probably not into guys
  • I recommend getting an account on Autostraddle
  • I'm warning you now: Sarah and Adrianna of YouTube's The Gay Women's Channel are really biphobic
    • So is Arielle Scarcella
    • If you're multisexual, don't watch these women because they're trash and not worth your time
    • If you're a lesbian, don't watch them in solidarity with multisexual women
  • The symbol of the inverted black triangle started during World War Two, when sapphic women under Hitler's regime were forced to wear them to symbolize that they were 'asocials'
    • That said, I don't know how heavily this was enforced in non-Romani, non-Jewish women
      • So if you're not Jewish or Romani, please examine your motives for reclaiming it
  • The term "WLW" (woman-loving woman) was created by sapphic black women, specifically for sapphic black women
    • Don't use it if you're white because that's cultural appropriation
      • You should probably also not use it if you're a nonblack PoC
        • But since I'm white I don't think I should get involved in intra-PoC discussions like that
    • While we're on the subject, two-spirit is an identity that you should also not be using if you're white.
      • It's a term created by First Nations/Native people as a gender identity and, I believe, sexuality
        • I've seen Native two-spirit people say that this is an identity exclusive to Native people
          • Indigenous Hawaiians and Alaskans are, as far as I know, under that umbrella, as are indigenous people from Latin America
    • Sapphic, however, is available to women of all races
  • You are not obligated to be feminine or "disprove" sapphic stereotypes
  • If you think you don't have any LGBTQIA friends, you're probably wrong
  • Being sexually attracted to women but not romantically doesn't prove any kind of stereotype about gay people and anyone who tells you it does can go fuck themselves (this is intended mostly for sapphic aros but could be applicable to other sapphic people as well)
  • Being romantically attracted to women but not sexually doesn't make you any less sapphic
  • You're not a sinner
  • You don't need to be fixed
  • Even if you suspect that your attraction to women and/or lack of attraction to men was caused by trauma, you're not broken
  • It's okay to be a fat, hairy, feminist butch lesbian
  • Straight-passing privilege doesn't exist
    • Neither does monosexual privilege or allosexual/romantic privilege
      • But if you are MGA and/or aro or ace, your struggles with biphobia, panphobia, acephobia, or arophobia are still valid
  • Straight women and other non-sapphic women who loudly insist that not all feminists are lesbians can go fuck themselves
  • You are not at fault for any abuse committed against you
  • You're not dirty
  • You will heal from that crush you have on your straight friend
  • You don't owe homophobes or misogynists shit
  • Femme invisibility is a real thing and it can be incredibly damaging
    • But masculine privilege doesn't exist and the idea of it harms butch women
      • The fact that masculine women can sometimes be misogynistic to femmes doesn't disprove this
        • Women can be misogynistic regardless of gender expression, and feminine women have privilege because they conform to gender roles
          • The fact that sapphic femmes are marginalized for their gender and sexuality doesn't change this
  • Abuse committed by another woman is still abuse
  • You are allowed to have boundaries
  • You are allowed to come out or not come out at your discretion
  • You can still be bi, pan, ply, queer, or sexually fluid if you have a boyfriend
  • Not all bisexual women are attracted to men
    • Nonbinary people exist
  • Bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders
  • Sapphic and queer are valid identities all by themselves
    • If you're not sure exactly what your sexuality is, but you know you love women, or if you just don't want to stick to a label of lesbian or bisexual, you can identify as one of these
  • No, lesbianism is not inherently GNC
    • If you aren't nonbinary and you're a femme lesbian who calls herself GNC, you're butchphobic and are denying your gender conforming privilege
      • Even if you're a femme trans lesbian who isn't nonbinary
  • Women who aren't attracted to men exist and are valid
  • You still deserve to be in LGBT spaces if you have a boyfriend
  • The 'born this way' rhetoric is assimilationist, heteropatriarchal bullshit
    • You don't have to be born this way to be valid
  • It's actually pretty common for sapphic women to dislike lesbian porn, because most of it was made by and for straight men
    • The porn you like doesn't dictate your sexuality
  • Anyone who tells you that your identity is fake is trash
  • Anyone who tells you that you're faking it for attention is trash
  • Anyone who tells you that you're sexually available to men is trash
  • Most straight women don't wonder if they like women and wouldn't entertain the thought of having sex with one or even kissing one
    • If you do, you're probably not straight
  • You can still be butch or femme if you're multisexual
    • Multisexual women who identify as butch or femme are often told that we're "appropriating lesbian culture"
      • Especially on that blue hellscape called Tumblr
      • But we can't appropriate from a culture that was already ours
        • Until the 1970s, there was very little differentiation between gayness and bisexuality
          • And the fact that there is now is partly caused by transmisogyny and sapphobia
          • Also, consider this: I'm a butch bisexual dyke and if you have a problem with that, please shove your opinion up your ass
            • I will defend multisexual women (at least the sapphic ones; some multisexual women are only attracted to men and nonbinary people) who identify as butches or femmes to the fucking grave
  • Bi girls with preferences for boys are still bi
  • You can still call yourself a d*ke if you're multisexual
    • This is still a slur and is specific to women who are attracted to women
    • From experience, it generally doesn't imply that we're lesbians
      • Most of the homophobia that's been directed at me has taken place after I was already out as bi
        • Exclusivity often doesn't mean shit - most homophobes just hate that I'm sapphic at all
          • And I'm not attracted to men, so I share more experiences with lesbians (especially butch and nonbinary lesbians, since I'm both nonbinary and butch) than I do with most multisexuals
            • But even sapphic multisexuals who are attracted to men can reclaim the D slur
      • If you're a lesbian, don't tell multisexual sapphic women (regardless of our relationship status) that we can't reclaim this because doing so implies that you know our experiences better than we do and is biphobic and sapphobic
      • I will also defend sapphic multisexuals who reclaim the d-slur to the fucking grave
  • You're allowed to unapologetically and unabashedly love yourself and be proud of your identity
  • You're beautiful

Friday, February 12, 2016

Aromantic Valentines

Today at school, everyone was (of course) obsessed with the fact that Valentine's Day is this Sunday...everyone, of course, except me and the other few aros that had to be around somewhere. Valentine's Day themed individual pizzas (with bell peppers or pepperoni chunks cut into heart shapes), pink hearts everywhere, and Valentine's Day themed crafts in class. And last year around this time, I was given a page-long writing assignment arguing for or against Valentine's Day, and of course my romance-repulsed aro self turned in three pages of chicken scratch against it. So this year, I made aro-themed valentines. Enjoy.


[Image description: a valentine heart made of light pink construction paper. The word 'platonic' is written in medium green, the word 'love' is written in light green, the word 'is' is written in gold, the word 'so' is written in gray, and the word 'important' is written in black. All words are in cursive. End image description.]

[Image description: a valentine heart made of light pink construction paper. The word 'fall' is written in medium green, the word 'in' is written in light green, the word 'love' is written in gold, the word 'with' is written in gray, and the word 'yourself' is written in black. All words are in cursive. End image description.]

[Image description: a valentine heart made of light pink construction paper. The words 'No Romo' are written on it in cursive. The letter N is written in medium green, the letter O is written in light green, the letters R and O are written in gold, the letter M is written in gray, and the letter O is written in black. End image description.]

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Aro/Ace Queerness Survey: Results

The Aro/Ace Queerness Survey is no longer taking responses! I just wanted to get some statistical data on opinions in the A community about to what extent aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBT+ community - without allos speaking over us.

Here are the results (warning: some numbers are off because people skipped questions or chose multiple answers).

Romantic orientation:

  • 52% of respondents are aromantic
  • 27% are grayromantic
  • 7% are demiromantic
  • 3% are akoiromantic
  • 2% are cupioromantic (I honestly don't approve of the 'cupioromantic' label because I think it feeds into amatonormativity, but if you want to identify as that I can't stop you either.)
  • 14% are quoiromantic
  • 2% are aroflux
  • 1% is questioning
  • 2% identify on the aromantic spectrum but not with any specific aro label
  • 1% is alterous
  • 2% are confused about aromantic spectrum terminology and unsure how to answer this question
  • 10% are alloromantic
Sexual orientation:

  • 65% are asexual
  • 11% are graysexual
  • 4% are demisexual
  • 1% is akoisexual
  • 2% are aceflux
  • 3% are quoisexual
  • 1% is autochorissexual
  • 22% are allosexual
Same-gender attraction

  • 22% are attracted to their same gender sexually
  • 28% are attracted to their same gender romantically
  • 50% do not feel same-gender attraction
Gender:

  • 56% are cisgender
  • 44% are transgender or nonbinary

There were no intersex participants.

Discrimination
  • 7% are LGBQ aces who have experienced acephobia
  • 12% are LGBQ aces who have not experienced acephobia
  • 14% are LGBQ aros who have experienced arophobia
  • 5% are LGBQ aros who have not experienced arophobia
  • 13% are aro aces who have experienced both arophobia and acephobia
  • 6% are aro aces who have experienced arophobia but not acephobia
  • 3% are aro aces who have experienced acephobia but not arophobia
  • 13% are aro aces who have never experienced arophobia or acephobia
  • 1% is aro heterosexuals who have experienced arophobia
  • 2% are aro heterosexuals who have not experienced arophobia
  • 24% are unsure if they've experienced aro/acephobia

Can aro aces identify as queer?

  • 68% say yes, for all aro aces
  • 5% say yes, but only for transgender aro aces
  • 4% say yes, but only for transgender and/or intersex aro aces
  • 14% say yes, with some reservations
  • 2% say no, for all aro aces
  • 7% are unsure how they feel about this

Can aro heterosexuals and heteroromantic aces identify as queer? (afterthought: I should have added in, do you support het aros/aces who don't identify as straight?)

  • 55% say yes, for all het aros/aces
  • 6% say yes, but only if they're transgender
  • 6% say yes, but only if they're transgender and/or intersex
  • 18% say yes, with some reservations
  • 5% say no, for all het aros/aces
  • 10% are unsure how they feel about this

Do you support a separate community for aros and aces, distinct from LGBT?
  • 27.27% say yes
  • 1.01% say no
  • 5.05% are unsure how they feel about this
  • 66.67% found this question unapplicable, as they already consider aros and aces wholly part of the LGBT+ community
  • 1 person skipped this question

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Sign This Petition To Support Transgender Youth

There's been a petition going around for the past few months, supporting binder sales in well-known department stores. I'm asking that everyone who sees this sign it and promote it. I've already linked it on Tumblr, Facebook, and a few LGBT+ social networking sites. Even if you don't support the trans community, I'm asking you to do this. There's a very real possibility that someone you love is transgender and that you could be helping to prevent them from self-harming by promoting this survey - dysphoria is that bad.

Also, for transfeminine people, Joann Fabric And Craft Stores is selling breast forms. I believe they're also sold in the actual stores themselves, but I haven't been to Joann in a long time so I'm not sure.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Aro/Ace Queerness Survey

Inspired by my last two posts, I made another survey. It's about whether aromanticism and asexuality are inherently marginalized identities and to what extent aros and aces belong in the LGBT+ community. Don't take it if you're both allo/zedromantic and allo/zedsexual. All aros and aces are welcome, though.