Attention, All Teen Girls and Young Women Just Realizing You're Sapphic

CW: difemiphobic slurs, all caps

• The term 'sapphic' refers to a poet named Sappho who was bisexual and is considered an icon for women who love women
• She ran a school on a Greek island called Lesbos
• This is where the word lesbian comes from
• Because she once wrote a love poem describing how she gave her lover a garland of violets, there's a tradition among sapphic women of doing the same thing with our own female partners
• The word 'sapphobia' also comes from Sappho's name and refers to the hybrid of biphobia and misogyny that only multisexual women experience
• It was not, in fact, coined to demonize or piss off lesbians
• Sometimes bi women do shit for ourselves. And not you. Get over it.
• The word sapphobia does not refer to shared oppression among all sapphic women
• That would be difemiphobia or difemphobia (lesbophobia is specific to lesbians)
• SAPPHOBIA! IS! SPECIFIC! TO! MULTISEXUAL! WOMEN! AND! ONLY! MULTISEXUAL! WOMEN!
• You're not any less of a woman, even if you have a penis
• But if you're nonbinary*, being sapphic doesn't invalidate that
• Yes, having blanket policies of not having sex with and/or dating trans women or girls is transphobic and transmisogynistic
• But at the same time, you don't owe anyone sex or romance
• You're not predatory
• If the only men you think are hot are celebrities and fictional characters, you're probably not into guys
• I recommend getting an account on Autostraddle
• I'm warning you now: Sarah and Adrianna of YouTube's The Gay Women's Channel are really biphobic
• So is Arielle Scarcella
• If you're multisexual, don't watch these women because they're trash and not worth your time
• If you're a lesbian, don't watch them in solidarity with multisexual women
• The symbol of the inverted black triangle started during World War Two, when sapphic women under Hitler's regime were forced to wear them to symbolize that they were 'asocials'
• That said, I don't know how heavily this was enforced in non-Romani, non-Jewish women
• So if you're not Jewish or Romani, please examine your motives for reclaiming it
• The term "WLW" (woman-loving woman) was created by sapphic black women, specifically for sapphic black women
• Don't use it if you're white because that's cultural appropriation
• You should probably also not use it if you're a nonblack PoC
• But since I'm white I don't think I should get involved in intra-PoC discussions like that
• While we're on the subject, two-spirit is an identity that you should also not be using if you're white.
• It's a term created by First Nations/Native people as a gender identity and, I believe, sexuality
• I've seen Native two-spirit people say that this is an identity exclusive to Native people
• Indigenous Hawaiians and Alaskans are, as far as I know, under that umbrella, as are indigenous people from Latin America
• Sapphic, however, is available to women of all races
• You are not obligated to be feminine or "disprove" sapphic stereotypes
• If you think you don't have any LGBTQIA friends, you're probably wrong
• Being sexually attracted to women but not romantically doesn't prove any kind of stereotype about gay people and anyone who tells you it does can go fuck themselves (this is intended mostly for sapphic aros but could be applicable to other sapphic people as well)
• Being romantically attracted to women but not sexually doesn't make you any less sapphic
• You're not a sinner
• You don't need to be fixed
• Even if you suspect that your attraction to women and/or lack of attraction to men was caused by trauma, you're not broken
• It's okay to be a fat, hairy, feminist butch lesbian
• Straight-passing privilege doesn't exist
• Neither does monosexual privilege or allosexual/romantic privilege
• But if you are MGA and/or aro or ace, your struggles with biphobia, panphobia, acephobia, or arophobia are still valid
• Straight women and other non-sapphic women who loudly insist that not all feminists are lesbians can go fuck themselves
• You are not at fault for any abuse committed against you
• You're not dirty
• You will heal from that crush you have on your straight friend
• You don't owe homophobes or misogynists shit
• Femme invisibility is a real thing and it can be incredibly damaging
• But masculine privilege doesn't exist and the idea of it harms butch women
• The fact that masculine women can sometimes be misogynistic to femmes doesn't disprove this
• Women can be misogynistic regardless of gender expression, and feminine women have privilege because they conform to gender roles
• The fact that sapphic femmes are marginalized for their gender and sexuality doesn't change this
• Abuse committed by another woman is still abuse
• You are allowed to have boundaries
• You are allowed to come out or not come out at your discretion
• You can still be bi, pan, ply, queer, or sexually fluid if you have a boyfriend
• Not all bisexual women are attracted to men
• Nonbinary people exist
• Bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders
• Sapphic and queer are valid identities all by themselves
• If you're not sure exactly what your sexuality is, but you know you love women, or if you just don't want to stick to a label of lesbian or bisexual, you can identify as one of these
• No, lesbianism is not inherently GNC
• If you aren't nonbinary and you're a femme lesbian who calls herself GNC, you're butchphobic and are denying your gender conforming privilege
• Even if you're a femme trans lesbian who isn't nonbinary
• Women who aren't attracted to men exist and are valid
• You still deserve to be in LGBT spaces if you have a boyfriend
• The 'born this way' rhetoric is assimilationist, heteropatriarchal bullshit
• You don't have to be born this way to be valid
• It's actually pretty common for sapphic women to dislike lesbian porn, because most of it was made by and for straight men
• The porn you like doesn't dictate your sexuality
• Anyone who tells you that your identity is fake is trash
• Anyone who tells you that you're faking it for attention is trash
• Anyone who tells you that you're sexually available to men is trash
• Most straight women don't wonder if they like women and wouldn't entertain the thought of having sex with one or even kissing one
• If you do, you're probably not straight
• You can still be butch or femme if you're multisexual
• Multisexual women who identify as butch or femme are often told that we're "appropriating lesbian culture"
• Especially on that blue hellscape called Tumblr
• But we can't appropriate from a culture that was already ours
• Until the 1970s, there was very little differentiation between gayness and bisexuality
• And the fact that there is now is partly caused by transmisogyny and sapphobia
• Also, consider this: I'm a butch bisexual dyke and if you have a problem with that, please shove your opinion up your ass
• I will defend multisexual women (at least the sapphic ones; some multisexual women are only attracted to men and nonbinary people) who identify as butches or femmes to the fucking grave
• Bi girls with preferences for boys are still bi
• You can still call yourself a d*ke if you're multisexual
• This is still a slur and is specific to women who are attracted to women
• From experience, it generally doesn't imply that we're lesbians
• Most of the homophobia that's been directed at me has taken place after I was already out as bi
• Exclusivity often doesn't mean shit - most homophobes just hate that I'm sapphic at all
• And I'm not attracted to men, so I share more experiences with lesbians (especially butch and nonbinary lesbians, since I'm both nonbinary and butch) than I do with most multisexuals
• But even sapphic multisexuals who are attracted to men can reclaim the D slur
• If you're a lesbian, don't tell multisexual sapphic women (regardless of our relationship status) that we can't reclaim this because doing so implies that you know our experiences better than we do and is biphobic and sapphobic
• I will also defend sapphic multisexuals who reclaim the d-slur to the fucking grave
• You're allowed to unapologetically and unabashedly love yourself and be proud of your identity
• You're beautiful