FAQ (Dove)

At the moment I can't figure out how to make this into its own page-- I think I might not have the permissions allowed to. So I'll just write this up as a regular post and figure it out later.

CW: Homophobic slurs, mentions of hate crimes, homophobia, transphobia, slurs

How can I tell you're writing the post? 
I sign all my posts as Mod Dove and most of them are in Times New Roman font-- what its in right now-- because I am awful at figuring out formatting. My real name is Amber, but I don't really like it. You can call me that if you want, but I prefer Dove for here.

You're being heterophobic/reverse racist/misandrist/Christaphobic/cisphobic...!
That's not a question.

Fine, why are you being heterophobic/reverse racist/whatever/whatever?
Those aren't things. Like. At all. The difference between people disliking someone for being [insert Majority here] and disliking someone for being [insert Minority here] is power. I can dislike someone for being cishet, which I don't, but take two examples. I yell "You cishet!" in the middle of the street. People are probably going to be confused and not really care. That doesn't even happen, like ever.

Go ahead and try it!

But the reverse situation, people will know what the intention is immediately. Depending on where this occurs, the consequences for the victim in the reverse could range from minor to extremely major. Do not go ahead and try this.

One of these actually happens a lot. The other happens in some hypothetical alternate universe.

Tumblr brainwashing ect. ect -- I stopped listening about five minutes ago.
Everyone seems to hate Tumblr. I was actually called a Tumblrina by one of the people who I met on tumblr, so that shows you the creativity of these people.

I've believed in all of this before I got a Tumblr account and most of what I do on Tumblr isn't even relevant to social justice. The eye-opener for me on all of this was a series of books with plenty of sources.

Where did you learn I was wrong? Reddit?

There are plenty of activists who have never even had a Tumblr account and plenty of anti-feminist trash who are on Tumblr. It's not the place. It's the people.

Trans people are attention seeking/not real/confused!
Still not a question.
Anyway, look it up. There's been trans people for years-- the whole gender is binary is a relatively recent invention. Mod Ari listed a bunch of sources for this, so check out their FAQ. Also, there are plenty of animal species where being transgender is the norm, even. It's pretty neat.

You're mean/the other mods are mean!
I tend to stay on the polite side unless I start to lose my patience. In which case I would run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Other people don't have as much patience as I do. I will get angry if you insult people or ideals I care about.

I don't start out confrontational and try to be patient when I can be, but if you start shit, I will fucking finish it. Don't. Even. Start.

Aphobia/arophobia is...
I would like to stay in my lane in regards to aromantic and asexual issues. I am not aro or ace. Acting as if I understand the aro and/or ace community would be rude. There are plenty of posts by the other mods, who actually are on the aro and/or ace spectrum.

Why do you hate men?
#NotAllEnbies! Some of my best friends are men, how could I ever be a misandrist. I'm related to men, how could I hate them?

I kid. Legit that's how stupid you guys sound. Read your writing out loud next time.

What religion are you?
I don't really have any strong opinions on religion. My working theory is that what's true is like one of those wheel of fortune things, where every single religion/lack of religion has the same statistical chance of being correct.

If I was going to end up converting, I think I'd like to look into Buddhism. I'll get around to it eventually. I'm the worst procrastinator when it comes to religion, probably because I have a terror of nonexistence and I prefer not to think about this kind of thing too much.

America is a Christian country.
Separation of church and state much? Don't force your religion on me and I won't force a lack of any particular religion onto you.


I believe in X religion.
You do you, buddy.

X religion is correct!
You do you. I don't agree with you necessarily, but you do you.

X religion is better than Y religion.
Fuck you, asshole.

X religion is inclined to violence.
Fuck you, asshole.

Every religion is full of assholes. You are one of these assholes. Statistically speaking.

Atheists are meanies. 
Some are. Fuck those guys.

People who are religious are meanies. 
Some are. Fuck those guys.

The gays...
Fuck you, asshole.

What's wrong with calling them 'the gays'?
I'm in a generous mood, I'll explain grammar to you.

The gays = referring to gay people as a noun.

Gay = adjective

People = noun.

Adjective describes a noun. Using an adjective as a noun is both weird sounding and dehumanizing. "People who are gay" is just a mouthful and sounds weird.

Why are you swearing? 
Getting the point across. Also, emphasis.

I don't mean to be offensive but... [offensive thing]. 
Saying "I don't mean to be offensive" will piss me off. If you don't mean to be offensive, don't say the offensive thing.

What's CW or TW? 
Trigger/content warning. Basically, "this post contains disturbing content."

BLAH EXPOSURE THERAPY BLAH BLAH TRIGGER WARNINGS ARE STUPID
Yeah and so are you. Trigger warnings help people avoid relapses of serious illnesses, seizures, sensory overload, flashbacks, eating disorders, and far more that I'm not going into detail on. If you don't like it, it's not like I'm writing an essay on it every post. It's a few lines at the beginning that can literally save lives.

Ignore it if you want.

What's your opinion on reclaiming slurs? 
Specific TW for slurs here.

Honestly, I don't really know which ones are available for me to even reclaim. There are some words like f*g, which I know I don't want to so it doesn't matter. I don't want to reclaim b*tch, if only because the zone between 'reclaimed' and 'just being used' is pretty blurry around some people I know. Actually, the only word I know for sure that I'm fine with being reclaimed around me is q**er, if only because I'm lucky enough to never have really heard it in a negative light.

Slurs aimed specifically towards sapphic women like d*ke-- it depends on what I end up with as my gender identity. Same with tr*nny, if only because I might not be trans.

A lot of the time I'm uncomfortable around reclaimed slurs that aren't mine, such as the n word. However, that isn't my lane. I'm white and it's none of my business if people of color are going to reclaim the n word. I can't tell them not to and I don't want to.

That's more your personal opinion on each, who do you think should be allowed to reclaim each?
I don't know. Get back to me on that.

That's not an answer. 
And that's not a question. Surprisingly, not everything I have strong opinions about. There's some brands of Discourse in which I don't particularly care for. I don't like slurs being 'reclaimed' for people who aren't comfortable with these 'reclaimed' slurs. I don't like slurs I'm not comfortable with being used for me.

That's it.

Should bi/pan women be allowed to identify as femme/butch?
I'm not even sure I'm sapphic. I'll get back to you on this one.

What is your sexuality?
Person who is attracted sexually and romantically to girls.

Like actually. 
Most of the words for sexuality are dependent on gender and I really can't answer that one right now.

What gender are you? 
Probably not a girl. Definitely not a boy.

What pronouns should I use? 
Thank you very much for asking. They, I think, should work fine enough for now.

Wow, your answers are short. 
For someone who's still figuring most of this out, I'm surprised they're not shorter. Also, you're judgey.

Can I call you queer?
Why would you want to? I mean, sure, I don't really mind that much if you're using it as a general adjective, but why? I'm kinda curious why you're so attached to this particular word. Gee, for people who sometimes accuse us of being too attached to labels, you sure are attached to that one.

Fuck off.

Am I gay/bi/trans?
If you're asking this question, you probably are. Most people who aren't never really think about this question except in passing.


Does monosexual privilege exist? 
Nah. There's a difference between people being shits to you because of something -- biphobia-- and people being privileged for not being that. Lesbians don't have to deal with biphobia, but they also have to deal with people being shits for not being into dudes at all.

(Using bi to mean attracted to two or more genders. There are bi people who aren't attracted to men at all, if only due to the specific meaning of the word.)

Bisexual is transphobic/Pansexual is transphobic/General semantics.
Some bi people identify as bi in a transphobic way. Some pan people identify as pan in a transphobic way.

It really does change from person to person. This isn't me dodging the question, by the way. I believe people are individuals.

The gay agenda!
Sorry, I couldn't really hear you over my laughter.

[Insert Marginalized Identity Here] are [Insert Stereotype Here].
No.

You should [insert useless advice I'll ignore here].
No thanks.

My question wasn't here/I didn't like the answer!
Check out Ari's FAQ for more. I'll add more answers in the future if they pop up. I'll also expand on my opinions when I get some more answers.