So You're Questioning Your Evangelical Christian Faith

 This post is intended for people who were raised in extremist, conservative Christian families and communities and have started to come to the conclusion that they no longer hold the beliefs they were raised with, as well as for people who were once born-again Evangelical Christians who have decided they no longer hold those beliefs.

First off, I'm proud of you! Regardless of why you're leaving, I think you deserve congratulations. What you're doing involves so much courage.

Second, remember that the whole world is open to you now. You can join another religion, choose to reject religion, syncretize a religion that's open to you with Christianity, or remain Christian - but in a more loving way. It's your choice and any of the above options are wonderful and valid.

Third, I know it's hard and scary, and that there are a lot of toxic, draining, triggering influences from other people and things in your former environment. I know you're probably feeling a lot of guilt over leaving, and a lot of fear that you're going to hell. That's okay. It's not rational, but since when are feelings rational? Be patient and kind to yourself, surround yourself with positive influences that make you feel good, and remind yourself of why you're on this spiritual journey. God, or the gods, if you end up believing in any, will guide you to a better place in your life.

So here's a few quotes from a group of former Evangelicals who have managed to leave but still remain Christian, after I asked them what they wished someone would have told them back then:

• "So much of what I would say probably wouldn’t resonate with young evie me! But maybe I could convince him/me to meditate on these verses until something clicked:

Jesus said to them, “The Sabbath was made for humans, and not humans for the Sabbath.” Mark 2:27

Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?

James 2:15-16

I hate, I despise your religious festivals; your assemblies are a stench to me... Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream! Amos 5:21-24" - Jon

• "Just because you are beginning to believe in a higher power and you love the story of Jesus doesn't mean that it automatically slots into the paradigm of evangelicalism." - Liz

• "Reading The Universal Christ and listening to its accompanying podcast, Another Name for Every Thing, was instrumental in feeling like deconstruction was okay. I wish I’d read it much sooner.
  I also wish I’d known how to identify spiritual abuse earlier, and learning more about that was an important piece of deconstructing, too. Wade Mullen is an author and speaker that I found really clear and helpful on this." - Emily

• "For people raised in churches that teach the doctrines of election*, "once saved always saved", and hell for those who aren't elect: If you are elect, you cannot lose your salvation by questioning everything. If you are not elect, you cannot be saved by refusing to question anything." - Abigail

• "I don't know how to explain it in words. It is about how to go down to the deepest level of myself where I always had reservations about the evangelical culture. I am not sure what needed to happen to bring those long held personal doubts to the surface sooner. I kept thinking that I was now finding something that worked for me but each different church was all still part of a larger system and not really different at all." - Luana

• "There's so much more they aren't telling you." - Alan

• "An oath is not binding if you were not given a choice." - Joy

• "I wish I could have convinced my younger self: 'Trust yourself, trust Love, question everything else.' I don’t think I could have received it, but if I could, what a difference it would have made." - Jaxn

• "A close comparison of what Jesus said with what evangelicals do, maybe? It was a really gradual process for me so it’s hard to know if I would have listened until Christian conservative hypocrisy suddenly got too personal to keep ignoring. But a factual breakdown might have helped—like, statistics on how evangelicals spend their time, money, and votes on things that AT BEST don’t help others." - Kyra**

• "Two things helped me: what is more valuable: a faith that has been searched, or an untested blind faith? And, the idea that God is powerful and good and loving enough to handle your full doubt and still see and love you through that." - Dorothea

• "Women, your identity as a Christian and as a woman is not “completed” by marriage. You do you wherever you are!" - KT

Some other things that might help you on your spiritual journey:

How I Became an LGBTQ-Affirming Christian

Hymns of Heresy (this is one of my favorite blogs!)

Reclaiming God

Why this Christian mom is pro-choice

Why Christians Should Vote Pro-Choice

Transgender and Christian: God Doesn't Make Mistakes

25 Signs of Spiritual Abuse

Why I Left an Evangelical Cult

Unlearning Christian Homophobia

*Apparently, doctrines of election means that salvation was predestined, similar to Calvinist theology. So if you were destined to be saved and you're questioning it, you're not really losing out on anything because you're going to end up being saved anyway. If not, you don't really have anything left to lose. Either way, you're not really affecting your chances at all so why not question while you still can, right?

**Here's a list of articles from the Pew Research Center on Evangelical Christianity.