CW: rape, abuse, torture, conversion therapy, police brutality, white supremacy, xenophobia, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, rape, radical white terrorism
Once upon a time, you were conservative. Your favorite show was 19 Kids and Counting, your opinion on the LGBT community was 'love the sinner hate the sin' - no what do you mean "that's just hate" I'm not a homophobe I'm not scared of gay people - and your younger siblings are homeschooled now because your parents are afraid of 'bad influences' (aka they might come across a classmate or teacher who isn't a cishet white Christian).
And because you were conservative, you voted for Trump. Because you were probably white, Christian, abled, cishet, in a position of immense privilege, you voted for Trump. You knew his platform, you knew what would happen, but you voted for Trump.
You wanted immigrants to stop stealing the jobs of white Americans, as if a poor, most likely Latinx immigrant would only ever steal the jobs that white people were obviously automatically entitled to.
You wanted people to stop getting abortions. If the pregnancy or childbirth killed them? If pregnancy-related gender dysphoria or tokophobia drove them to kill themselves? If they couldn't afford to pay for medical care? If they were raped? If their partner abandoned them or abused them? If they were hypersexual due to mental illness? Well, that was all part of God's plan, right? Those sluts should have just kept their legs closed.
You wanted people of color to stop whining about police brutality, about their precious sacred lands being stolen, about racial profiling, about islamophobia, about white privilege.
You wanted gay and trans kids to stop being so damn sinful. So what if conversion therapy gave them PTSD? So what if they ended up committing suicide because of the self-hatred you voted for them to experience?
You wanted disabled people to stop freeloading from your hard-earned tax dollars. After all, if you could work, why couldn't they...even if it meant pushing themselves into severe pain, hospitalization, sickness, or death?
You voted for Trump. You willingly put millions of people in danger and you didn't give a shit because it didn't affect you.
Trump won. You celebrated.
But then, you discovered something.
Your students, who were predominantly Latinx immigrants, became scared that they would be deported. Your neighbor was killed in childbirth because she was forced to carry her rapist's baby to term.
You no longer have a token Muslim friend because she was banned from the country while visiting her sick grandfather in Syria and help him gain asylum in America, and now they've both been killed by bombings. Or maybe she didn't go to Syria. Maybe she was cornered on her way home from work by white people who ripped her hijab off and beat her up or raped her, saying how they could do anything they wanted to her because Trump had won, spitting in her face that she was a terrorist.
You're happy that your butch sister has started to wear dresses, that she doesn't have a girlfriend, but when you discovered that this is only because she's afraid of being the next victim of a homophobic hate crime or state-sanctioned violence, that she's afraid of going to a gay bar or kissing the woman she loves because Pulse keeps flashing through her mind, you couldn't even look her in the eye.
You just thought this would affect some other people. Not anyone you cared about. And you want to say you're sorry, but you've already burned your bridges. You wanted Trump to win, you wanted America to be great again. America is a colonial state built on the genocide of black and indigenous people. It was never great.
I can't speak for the other people in your life, and if they want to cut off all contact with you, I honestly don't blame them. You, a rational adult who knew what they were getting themselves and other people in for, willingly voted for Trump. You and thousands of other voters made a decision on election night that you knew damn well could very well lead to catastrophe, possibly even nuclear war.
Your decision was despicable and every time you kiss your girlfriend goodnight, every time you say hi to your black coworker or place your order with the Sikh cashier at your favorite fast food restaurant or have a conversation with that person you tell everyone is your "gay friend" but is actually just a LGBT person who laughs uncomfortably a lot around you, I hope you remember this. You willingly decided to put my life and the lives of millions, if not billions, of other marginalized people in danger, and I hope you never forget how you betrayed us because we sure as hell won't. How could we, when we will be forced to live with the consequences of your actions for the rest of our lives?
I hope you never expect forgiveness. I hope you realize that you will never deserve it, and that if it's offered, that is a decision based in astounding, undeserved generosity, charity, and kindness and you will never, ever be able to repay it or make up for what you've done.
And to one specific Trump voter who I hope is reading this, I know you regret your decision and I hope you're genuinely willing to change the disgusting beliefs you have held and clean up your act. I hope you're willing to face up to the homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and internalized misogyny that you have directed at me in the past.
I know you were basically raised in a fascist cult and your family is a hot mess and I feel sorry for you. I know that background contributed a lot to your political socialization, but I also know it's not an excuse.
This post was intended as an open letter to you, truthfully. I won't offer kindness to someone who will only hurt me, but I'm willing to offer help to someone who's genuinely willing to change.
I know that if I hadn't found social justice, I might have ended up just like you - only worse, because of how my internalized homophobia and transphobia would be amplified.
Truth be told, I never hated you - not you, specifically. But I won't allow you back into my life unless you take the initiative to make that happen. When you're ready to do that, you know where to reach me. When that happens, you'd damn well better apologize and be ready to make amends. When that happens, I'm willing to listen.
Be grateful for that. I'm sapphic, nonbinary, and disabled. Others like me are dead because of the rhetoric you have spread and the way you have voted and the fascist violence you have validated and condoned and encouraged. Others like me are dead because of you. I will never, ever forget that. I will never forgive. I will always be reminded of their deaths when I see you. I will always remember that it's your fault. I will always remember that you and every other sick fuck who voted for Trump or who is a fascist has blood on their hands.
But when you're ready to apologize and genuinely change for the better, I'm ready to listen.
Once upon a time, you were conservative. Your favorite show was 19 Kids and Counting, your opinion on the LGBT community was 'love the sinner hate the sin' - no what do you mean "that's just hate" I'm not a homophobe I'm not scared of gay people - and your younger siblings are homeschooled now because your parents are afraid of 'bad influences' (aka they might come across a classmate or teacher who isn't a cishet white Christian).
And because you were conservative, you voted for Trump. Because you were probably white, Christian, abled, cishet, in a position of immense privilege, you voted for Trump. You knew his platform, you knew what would happen, but you voted for Trump.
You wanted immigrants to stop stealing the jobs of white Americans, as if a poor, most likely Latinx immigrant would only ever steal the jobs that white people were obviously automatically entitled to.
You wanted people to stop getting abortions. If the pregnancy or childbirth killed them? If pregnancy-related gender dysphoria or tokophobia drove them to kill themselves? If they couldn't afford to pay for medical care? If they were raped? If their partner abandoned them or abused them? If they were hypersexual due to mental illness? Well, that was all part of God's plan, right? Those sluts should have just kept their legs closed.
You wanted people of color to stop whining about police brutality, about their precious sacred lands being stolen, about racial profiling, about islamophobia, about white privilege.
You wanted gay and trans kids to stop being so damn sinful. So what if conversion therapy gave them PTSD? So what if they ended up committing suicide because of the self-hatred you voted for them to experience?
You wanted disabled people to stop freeloading from your hard-earned tax dollars. After all, if you could work, why couldn't they...even if it meant pushing themselves into severe pain, hospitalization, sickness, or death?
You voted for Trump. You willingly put millions of people in danger and you didn't give a shit because it didn't affect you.
Trump won. You celebrated.
But then, you discovered something.
Your students, who were predominantly Latinx immigrants, became scared that they would be deported. Your neighbor was killed in childbirth because she was forced to carry her rapist's baby to term.
You no longer have a token Muslim friend because she was banned from the country while visiting her sick grandfather in Syria and help him gain asylum in America, and now they've both been killed by bombings. Or maybe she didn't go to Syria. Maybe she was cornered on her way home from work by white people who ripped her hijab off and beat her up or raped her, saying how they could do anything they wanted to her because Trump had won, spitting in her face that she was a terrorist.
You're happy that your butch sister has started to wear dresses, that she doesn't have a girlfriend, but when you discovered that this is only because she's afraid of being the next victim of a homophobic hate crime or state-sanctioned violence, that she's afraid of going to a gay bar or kissing the woman she loves because Pulse keeps flashing through her mind, you couldn't even look her in the eye.
You just thought this would affect some other people. Not anyone you cared about. And you want to say you're sorry, but you've already burned your bridges. You wanted Trump to win, you wanted America to be great again. America is a colonial state built on the genocide of black and indigenous people. It was never great.
I can't speak for the other people in your life, and if they want to cut off all contact with you, I honestly don't blame them. You, a rational adult who knew what they were getting themselves and other people in for, willingly voted for Trump. You and thousands of other voters made a decision on election night that you knew damn well could very well lead to catastrophe, possibly even nuclear war.
Your decision was despicable and every time you kiss your girlfriend goodnight, every time you say hi to your black coworker or place your order with the Sikh cashier at your favorite fast food restaurant or have a conversation with that person you tell everyone is your "gay friend" but is actually just a LGBT person who laughs uncomfortably a lot around you, I hope you remember this. You willingly decided to put my life and the lives of millions, if not billions, of other marginalized people in danger, and I hope you never forget how you betrayed us because we sure as hell won't. How could we, when we will be forced to live with the consequences of your actions for the rest of our lives?
I hope you never expect forgiveness. I hope you realize that you will never deserve it, and that if it's offered, that is a decision based in astounding, undeserved generosity, charity, and kindness and you will never, ever be able to repay it or make up for what you've done.
And to one specific Trump voter who I hope is reading this, I know you regret your decision and I hope you're genuinely willing to change the disgusting beliefs you have held and clean up your act. I hope you're willing to face up to the homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and internalized misogyny that you have directed at me in the past.
I know you were basically raised in a fascist cult and your family is a hot mess and I feel sorry for you. I know that background contributed a lot to your political socialization, but I also know it's not an excuse.
This post was intended as an open letter to you, truthfully. I won't offer kindness to someone who will only hurt me, but I'm willing to offer help to someone who's genuinely willing to change.
I know that if I hadn't found social justice, I might have ended up just like you - only worse, because of how my internalized homophobia and transphobia would be amplified.
Truth be told, I never hated you - not you, specifically. But I won't allow you back into my life unless you take the initiative to make that happen. When you're ready to do that, you know where to reach me. When that happens, you'd damn well better apologize and be ready to make amends. When that happens, I'm willing to listen.
Be grateful for that. I'm sapphic, nonbinary, and disabled. Others like me are dead because of the rhetoric you have spread and the way you have voted and the fascist violence you have validated and condoned and encouraged. Others like me are dead because of you. I will never, ever forget that. I will never forgive. I will always be reminded of their deaths when I see you. I will always remember that it's your fault. I will always remember that you and every other sick fuck who voted for Trump or who is a fascist has blood on their hands.
But when you're ready to apologize and genuinely change for the better, I'm ready to listen.
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